Welcome to the beginning of your mid twenties.
[insert quarter life crisis]
This past week I turned twenty-three and I felt the heavy weight of what felt like a quarter life crisis. After my dramatic reaction to misplacing my keys and cancelling my trip to Atlanta, I realized the root of the panic was my reality of turning 23. Each year I find it more difficult to "find my place" and find confirmation that I am headed in the right direction. From the first day of Kindergarten to graduating college, society had left some what of a skeleton plan for each individual. You go to school for x amount of years, you pick from x amount of majors and then you pick graduate school or a full-time position afterwards. Fortunately, my life stopped following that formula a year ago.
Instead of looking at 23 as one heck of a brick wall in terms of choosing the next direction, I see it as a hunk of opportunity. Twenty-two opened my eyes to new possibilities and 23 will open up my heart. I spent most of 22 feeling pressured, lost and unqualified. I picked from paths others tried to lead me in and second guessed any plan I had of my own. I am blessed to be where 22 has lead me, but I owe it to myself to be open to my 23-year-old soul and listen to its ideas, as ridiculous or expensive as they are.
Thank you 22 for being so patient, adaptive, critical and open to positions you never thought you'd be in. I have grown this past year more deeply and passionately than previous years. I have found more things to love and appreciate. I have learned to trust and be proud of the work I have created. I have fallen to the pressure only to be picked up by new possibilities. I have traveled and experienced some of the most beautiful places. I surprised myself. I allowed my heart to grow. I have simplified life in order to focus on the important things. I have seen life cruelties reminding myself to always be kind and put people first. I will always do what I love and love what I do and never again fall short to a standard.
A rock star once reminded me to actively participate rather than continuously anticipate, to accept what challenges you and defy gravity. This year I will do just that.
I know I have been absent from this blog for quite some time, but it has led me to some much needed clarity, on and off the blog. It allowed me to completely focus on the moment and think about the next step. I needed to unplug and get lost in my 25th hour for awhile. Hope you understand :)